Merlin's Choice
by MrsSixxComaJinxxPittsPurdy'x
Summary: Merlin must face his toughest challenge yet when Guinevere confesses her deepest secret to him. Follow the young Warlock as he tries to make sense of the scenarios that begin to unfold infront of his eyes.. Can his heart take all the strain of the events that follow Gwen's secret? *GOING TO TOTALLY REDO WHEN I FINISH EVERYTHING ELSE OFF*
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Merlin knew he had to do something, and fast, his time was running out.

He looked over to where Gwen was laying and took a deep, long breath.

Arthur would not be pleased if he could see what had happened, he would probably throw Merlin in the stocks.

Merlin shuddered. He didn't want _that _to happen_, no, he did not._

He got to work, preparing a potion, Gaius was out.

'Just my luck', Merlin thought, bitterly. He had to do something before Arthur found out.

His mind distracted, he started to prepare even more potions; hoping one of them would do the trick. He heard footsteps approaching.

Oh dear. Merlin's heart was pounding in his chest.

'Maybe it's someone else', he hoped.

"_Merlin_!"

As if there was any doubt… he stayed silent, hoping, praying almost, that Arthur would give up his quest for him.

"Where is that useless servant of mine?" Arthur raged through the castles vast corridors.

Eventually, Merlin heard the footsteps slow, this was not necessarily a good thing, however. The footsteps were slowing, yes, but they were coming closer to Physicians room.

Merlin dare hardly breathe. A while later three heavy knocks emerged on the heavy door. "Gaius, have you seen Merlin?"

Thinking on his feet, Merlin thought of a plan, as best as he could, he mirrored Gaius' voice. "Sire, he's gone to the Tavern."The Tavern?! Of all the places, Merlin cursed himself.

"_Oh!_ Has he now, he will not want to be alive when I get my hands on him!" Brilliant, even if he saved Gwen, he'd still have to face Arthur when he returned.

He was stumped. He didn't even know what had happened to The Queen; let alone how to treat her…

He finished preparing one of the many potions that he had made. He lifted it up to his nose, and took a long, deep breath in, the smell almost made him gag, it smelt like pure seaweed. That would never do.

He tipped the contents into a nearby bowl and used his magic to vaporise it. He had no idea what to do.

He had to do something, though, and fast.

He just wasn't sure what it was he had to do.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A while had passed, although Merlin wasn't exactly aware of how much time had passed since Arthur came looking for him.

Gwen was still unconscious, and a forbidden thought popped into Merlin's mind.

Ever since he had set foot in Camelot, he had lusted after the now Queen, Guinevere.

After all, he has known Gwen since she was a lowly servant to The Lady Morgana herself.

Now that had all changed though, and unless Merlin could find a suitable cure for the Queen, he could face being deprived of duty to Arthur, and he couldn't face that, it was his destiny to look out for him, after all.

In a way, Merlin still loved the Queen.

He loved her like a sister, and, unlike Arthur, she was fair and just towards all of her servants, whatever rank they may be.

He finished the potion he was preparing and poured it into a near wooden bowl.

This would have to do; there was no time to act picky.

He pressed the bowl to Gwen's lips and prayed for a miracle.

About a minute passed.

Gwen's lips were closed and the liquid seeped onto her gown.

Merlin placed his head in his hands, and for a minute, silent tears slid down his cheeks.

He closed his eyes.

About another minute passed.

Merlin was preparing himself for the worst…

Just then, Gwen's eyes shot open and she coughed violently.

She sat up, dazed.

Confusion spread across her pale cheeks.

"Merlin…"

Merlin stood up, embarrassed.

"Gwen, I'm so glad you're alright, I thought you'd gone."

"Merlin, what is the meaning of this?"

Merlin looked at her, puzzled.

"I saved you, you were in the woods…don't you remember going into the woods?"

Gwen shook her head.

Oh, Merlin wasn't expecting that…

"Anyway, better get you off to your Chambers, before Arthur finds you in here…"

"Merlin...-" she smiled, kindly.

"-I think it's a bit late for that..."

Merlin raised an eyebrow.

Gwen gestured behind him.

He turned around.

"_Merlin?!_"

Merlin's heart pounded once again against his clothes.

"Sire…"

"What is the meaning of this, why is Guinevere in here?"

"She was…resting…"

"Oh, was she now?-"

Merlin laughed awkwardly.

"-Well, she has her _own_ Chamber to _rest_, don't you, Guinevere?"

Gwen got to her feet, smiled fondly at Merlin, glanced back at Arthur, and then exited the room.

When she had gone, Arthur looked at Merlin.

"Can you explain to me why Guinevere was in here?"

Merlin looked at him.

"I can't…"

Arthur looked daggers at Merlin.

"Maybe a day in the stocks would refresh your memory, then."

Merlin shuddered.

"Arthur, it was nothing bad. She was just here, we were just...talking."

"_Guards_!"

Merlin tensed.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Whilst in the stocks, Merlin began to think.

He began to think about Arthur.

About how he always mistreated him, no matter what he had done to protect him, it was never quite enough for the High and Mighty King Arthur of Camelot.

Rage began to build up inside his heart.

If only Arthur knew just how many times Merlin had saved his skin, then he might think of him differently.

But he could never know; he could never know the true reason how he saved him.

No, that would never do.

Tears once again filled Merlin's eyes and threatened to spill out onto the wooden stocks.

Merlin concentrated hard, concentrated so that he would not cry.

Villagers had gathered all around him whilst he had been lost in his thoughts.

Merlin knew what was to come next.

He shut his eyes tightly, just as a mouldy piece of cabbage sailed through the air and narrowly missed his head.

Merlin had had enough.

With all the strength he could master, he used his magic to throw the villagers back; they all landed with a bump on the ground.

To Merlin's amusement and delight, he noticed, Arthur was also on the ground.

This made him feel a little better.

"Merlin, are you ready to talk yet?"

Arthur's words sailed through the breeze.

"If I am, can I come out?"

"I suppose."

"Yes, I'm ready to talk."

Arthur summoned for the stocks to be opened and Merlin was let out.

"Follow me, Merlin."

Merlin and Arthur pushed through heavy crowds.

Once inside the castle, the questioning began.

"So, what were you and Guinevere doing?"

"Like I said, we were just talking."

Arthur raised his hand.

"Merlin…-"

"Go and ask Gwen, she'll tell you…"

Merlin knew that this was cowardly, but he needed time to think.

"_I want you to tell me_!"

Arthur shouted.

"I can't, I just can't okay?!"

Merlin shot back, then disappeared.

"_Merlin?!-_" Arthur shouted after him, furious. _  
_

"-_Come here!_"

Merlin didn't have the strength to argue, so he turned back towards the King.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Merlin followed Arthur into his Chambers.

"Guinevere, are you in here?"

No one answered, but Merlin knew she was there.

"Gwen?"

Merlin looked around.

"I'm here, Merlin, what's the matter?"

Arthur looked at Merlin.

Trust Gwen to answer him and not the King.

"Guinevere, I want you to tell me what you were doing that was so secret."

"Arthur...I…can't remember…"

Merlin could see Arthur was losing patience with them both.

"You both tell me what you were doing or so help me I'll…"

"You'll what, Arthur?"

Gwen's voice is menacing, almost threatening.

"I'll…"

Arthur backed down, defeated, he backed out the room.

"Gwen, there is no need to be like that, Arthur is just curious, you know how he is."

"Merlin, I can't remember going into any woods, I can't remember you saving me, I can't remember anything, it's like my mind has been wiped…"

Merlin swallowed.

He was afraid that was the case.

He held his arms out.

Gwen succumbed to his offer and clung to him.

They looked into one another's eyes and for a minute, Merlin fought the urge to kiss her.

Gwen looked once again into his eyes, and this time, her lips met his and they kissed.

Merlin knew this was bad, but he didn't have the strength to stop.

They kissed, oh how they kissed.

Merlin had never felt so alive.

He was the first to break away.

"Gwen, I…"

"Shush, we don't have much time..."

Her lips found his once again.

Merlin didn't know what to do.

This was the Queen of Camelot.

This was Arthur's wife.

If Arthur caught them, Gwen especially, they would be thrown into exile without a second glance…

The Queen buried her head in Merlin's neck and whispered,

"It has always been you that I love, Merlin."

Merlin was lost for words.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Ashamed and confused, Merlin exited the Chambers.

Gwen called him back, but he didn't stop until he reached the Hall, where Arthur was standing.

"Ah, Merlin, there you are."

Merlin shifted from one foot to the other.

"Where have you been?"

"Nowhere, why, where could I have been?"

He babbled.

Arthur chuckled.

"Guilty conscience, there, Merlin?"

Without another word, Merlin left.

He could still hear Arthur calling his name, but he dare not look behind him.

All he could think about was Gwen.

He arrived at his room and collapsed into the door.

He could hear Gaius in there, probably conjuring a potion, no doubt.

"Merlin, is that you?"

Merlin sighed.

He'd just wanted to get in without anyone noticing him.

Reluctantly, he answered.

"Yes it is, is everything alright?"

Gaius emerged from his position where he had been standing.

"Yes, I was about to ask you the same question, Merlin."

Merlin sighed.

"I'm...confused; but it nothing of your concern, Gaius…"

"Are you sure, Merlin?"

Merlin felt agitated by Gaius' questioning.

"No… but I can't say anything anyway."

"Merlin, you can tell me, I won't tell a soul."

Merlin smiled at him.

He was right, he wouldn't.

"Well…the thing is, its Gwen..."

"The Queen, why is she alright?"

Merlin rolled his eyes.

"Gaius she's perfect. That's the problem…"

Gaius looked up at him and raised his eyebrows.

"Ah, I see…"

"Gaius, she…kissed me… and I didn't stop it…"

Gaius gasped.

"Merlin, what if Arthur had seen you?"

"I know. I made a terrible mistake. But I think I'm in love with her…"

Gaius looked at Merlin, shocked.

"You think you're in love with her? After one kiss?"

"I have always known I love her, thought, Gaius, this is out of my comfort zone, too, you know."

He looked at the elderly Physician, smiled, and went to his room without another word.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Merlin climbed into bed.

He closed his eyes.

Try as he might, he could not shake the feeling of him and Gwen being together.

He knew it wasn't ever going to happen.

He was a servant, she the Queen.

And besides, she was married to Arthur…

Merlin heard a knock on the door.

Begrudgingly, he got up and went to open it.

To his surprise, it was Arthur.

"Merlin, have you seen Guinevere?"

"No, why would I, its not like she's in here!"

Merlin almost snapped.

"Merlin, she's missing."

"She's probably gone for a walk!"

Merlin couldn't control his temper.

"I was trying to sleep, see you in the morning!"

Merlin slammed the door.

He could hear Arthur cursing him, but he didn't care.

He leapt back to bed and began to think.

About Gwen.

About Arthur.

About how messed up this had all become.

The feelings got too much for him.

He closed his eyes, and drifted in and out of seep.

Until, eventually, he fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

He dreamt of Gwen and himself, happy.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

When Merlin woke, it was not yet dawn.

With nothing else to do, he got up and went in search of Gwen.

He needed...

No wait, wanted to see her…

He tiptoed around to her Chambers.

"Merlin, in here!"

He spun round, and spotted Gwen.

A delighted laugh escaped from his lips.

"Gwen, I…"

"Shush, we don't have much time!"

She giggled and pulled Merlin into a nearby room.

"Gwen, I cant do this anymore, I cant do it to Arthur."

Tears formed in the corner of Merlin's eyes as he turned to exit the room.

"Merlin, wait, I.."

"No, Gwen.."

"Merlin…please, I love you."

"No, you love Arthur."

As if he'd heard them, Arthur came through the door.

"Guinevere?"

"Hello, Arthur…"

Merlin sighed and exited the room without a word.

He could hear Gwen and Arthur arguing.

It was driving him mad.

He wanted to be with Gwen so much, but he didn't want to hurt Arthur…

What was a young Warlock to do?!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Merlin decided to get busy around the castle to keep his mind off Gwen.

He saw Sir Leon and Sir Percival.

Leon smiled as they passed.

Merlin didn't smile back.

How could he when all he could think about was Gwen?!

He'd never been so smitten in his life, and it was slowly killing him.

"Merlin…"

Merlin turned around when he heard Gwen's voice.

Despite himself, he found himself walking towards her.

"Arthur is leaving."

Merlin's mouth fell open.

"What do you mean he's 'leaving'?"

Gwen avoided Merlin's eyes.

"I mean he's leaving."

Merlin stared at her.

"He can't just _leave_! He's the King of Camelot."

"And I the Queen…"

Gwen smiled at Merlin.

"Merlin, I want to be your Queen, not Arthur's…"

"Gwen, I'm a servant! Don't be so stupid…"

Gwen backed away from Merlin.

"Merlin, I'm not stupid, I'm in love…with you!"

She reached up and kissed him.

At first, Merlin resisted, but then succumbed and kissed her back.

She laughed against his lips, and Merlin allowed her embrace.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"This is better than I thought!"

Morgana looked up on Guinevere and Merlin's embrace.

"Soon the future of Camelot will be in jeopardy, leaving me to once again reign as their Queen. Then they will be sorry!"

Morgana looked at King Odin.

"My Lady, is this like you wanted it to be like?"

"Oh, dear, Odin, it's better than I ever imagined!"

Morgana smiled wickedly.

"Morgana, are you sure this will work?"

"Odin, it will, trust me. Then we can be together, as the King and Queen of Camelot."

She smiled fondly and kissed Odin on the cheek.

"Now if you'll excuse me I have to go and see someone."

She exited the room.

Odin looked at the figures in the mirror and laughed a throaty laugh.

"My Lady Morgana has done it again!"

He rolled her name on his tongue as he said it with pure loyalty and love.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Merlin and Gwen stood in the vast corridor.

Merlin was both pleased but yet so ashamed that he dared not look at Gwen.

"I have to…go now…"

Merlin turned and almost ran down the corridor until he got to Arthur's chambers.

"Ah, there you are Merlin, come here a second, will you?"

Merlin gasped.

He walked slowly towards Arthur.

"Stop dilly dallying, Merlin!"

Merlin tried to pick up the pace, but his legs disobeyed him and wouldn't move fast enough.

"Merlin, sometime today would be excellent."

Arthur's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Yes, My Lord, anything you say, My Lord."

Merlin mocked his tone.

Once inside the King's chambers, Merlin relaxed a little and waited for him instructions.

"Merlin, I want you to keep an eye on Guinevere for me…"

Merlin looked up.

"Why, what's wrong with…Gwen, I mean the Queen?"

"I feel that Guinevere is in danger, and I want you to spend every second of your day watching her to see if you can convince her to open up to me more about...things…"

Merlin gritted his teeth.

Great, that's all he needed…


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Arthur knew there was something wrong with his wife.

Yet he could not get her to tell him anything.

In fact, he'd forgotten the last time Guinevere had opened up to him.

This saddened him deeply.

He loved Guinevere with all his heart.

But he sometimes wondered whether that was enough.

He sat up and stared into space.

He just didn't know what to do anymore.

And as for Merlin?

Well, he was about as useful as a plastic dagger.

Arthur hadn't seen much of Merlin, which, Arthur thought, was strange.

Normally he'd be at his feet like an over excited puppy dog, begging, craving almost, attention.

Arthur smiled.

Merlin wasn't the best of servants, but he was as close to one as any one had ever been.

A noise stirred him from his daydreams.

Guinevere walked in the room.

Neither of them spoke a word.

The silence was excruciating.

Guinevere coughed.

Arthur looked up.

"Ah, Guinevere, there you are."

Gwen looked at him.

"What do you mean? I've been here all day!"

Arthur stood up and looked her in the eyes.

"Guinevere, I may have been your husband for a short time but I can read you like a book…what is going on?"

His tone is annoyed.

"Arthur, there is only one thing wrong here!"

Arthur looked at her.

"And what is that?"

"_Me_!"

Guinevere sank down onto the bed.

"Arthur, I… can't be your Queen anymore."

Arthur swallowed.

"You…can't be, or you don't want to be?"

"Arthur, please don't make this harder for me."

Arthur tensed.

"_Harder for you_?!" he shouted.

"Yes, because I…loved you."

"Loved?"

Arthur eyes were filling up.

He should have known that this was coming.

"You loved me…"

"Yes…"

"Guinevere, I love you with all my heart. But it seems it is not enough, doesn't it?"

"Arthur, please."

Guinevere sobbed.

"_Get out_!"

"But where will I go? You cannot throw me away!"

Arthur laughed uncertainly.

"But that's what you were doing, isn't it Guinevere?"

"_No_! It's not like that!"

Guinevere looked at Arthur, willing him to look at her, but he didn't.

"Then what is it like?"

"I don't need this. Goodbye."

She swayed out of the room.

When the door shut, Arthur crumbled to floor like a piece of paper and sobbed.

He had lost her.

And he would do anything, anything, to get his Queen back.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Gwen sobbed too.

Oh, how she sobbed.

She had no idea why, or how the feelings for Merlin had started.

If only she could remember what happened in the woods…

She hadn't been far from Camelot, Merlin had told her.

Oh, how she hated herself for hurting Arthur.

But she couldn't help it; it was almost as if there were strings pulling her to Merlin.

She could not get him off her mind, as much as she wanted to.

That kiss they had shared had meant little to her, but yet she didn't stop it, she didn't want it to be stopped.

She loved Arthur with all her heart, but she was so drawn to Merlin, it physically hurt when she was not around him.

Gwen stopped sobbing when she heard footsteps approaching.

"Merlin?"

she called, hopeful.

"Why would it be Merlin?"

Arthur's harsh voice called back.

Gwen tried to swallow the unexpected disappointment that lurked in the pit of the stomach.

"I...just...never mind..."

"Just what, Guinevere?"

"It doesn't matter, I wanted Merlin, not you."

She regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth.

Arthur emerged in the doorway.

"If that is the case, Guinevere…"

He looked at her and whispered,

"Maybe you should have married _him_ instead of _me_!"

Guinevere had to stop herself from telling Arthur about Merlin.

She had to think of something to say…

"Arthur, that is absurd, I loved you!"

That's strange, she had wanted to say 'I love you'.

She tried again.

"I mean, I loved you!"

She was exasperated now.

"_No! I loved you_!"

"Say it one more time, Guinevere, just to make it clear that you are no longer _in love_ with me!"

"Arthur, I loved you, I loved you!"

It was like she was on auto correct.

"Great, so now you don't love me? Is there anything else you want to tell me?!"

Gwen began to cry.

She loved Arthur, that's what she was trying to say, not that she was no longer in love with him.

She dared not trust her tongue again, so she just shook her head and left the room.


End file.
